Push Pull is one of the most stimulating flirting techniques out there, but how effective is it?
Our brains love contradiction, I mean… even the opening line of this article was a contradiction posed as a question.
Strangely enough, many women are great at the push pull technique without even trying, but because many guys come off desperate or needy, it takes some practice to even become adequate at this technique.
What is it?How to “Pull” a Girl you likeHow to “Push” a Girl you likeExamples of Push Pull Flirting
What is it?
How to “Pull” a Girl you like
How to “Push” a Girl you like
Examples of Push Pull Flirting
Push Pull is defined as “Saying something nice and dove tailing it with something mean or saying something mean and dove tailing it with something nice.”
You might be asking, “What is the Push Pull Technique?":
So in this video (and article), I’m going to teach you how to show interest, which is also called the pull; and how to show disinterest, which is also called the push. I’ll also give you some examples and explain some expert opinions on the effectiveness of it.
Many people think the push pull technique is a style of flirting where you can just memorize lines, but to effectively attract a girl through interest and disinterest, you must cater the style to the girl you are using it on, which means you must do some research or already have a good foundation of attraction - which you can learn from taking my Psychology of Attraction course.
Push/pull is a very difficult skill, with a very simple process which can make you lose the girl entirely. So when you think about using any of these, be sure that it won’t come off as if you’re an idiot.
Think of this style of flirting as hanging a toy in front of a cat. If you hold the toy in front of the cat, they won’t go after it - in fact if you lay it on the ground they won’t even look twice, but if you dangle it and pull it back right when they swat at it, creating movement… they’ll go crazy and want the toy even more.
Lets move on to ways to show interest, or how to pull a girl. If you’re interested, I’ve also written an entire article onways to get a girl to like you!
So you can obviously compliment her in a physical manner. Say something about her hair, her smile, the dress she is wearing, something about how she looks. The catch to this is that it’s very surface level but it’s also very easy. Anyone can complement someone else based on their physical appearance.
There’s also nonverbal cues to pull a girl in. The most obvious is body language. Keep your body language open, which means don’t cross your arms, make sure your feet stay pointed towards her, and stay close in proximity. Basically give her the opportunity to approach you.
Eye contact is probably the most important non-verbal cue simply because one 7 second glance is sometimes the most attractive thing you can literally do. There’s studies that prove this. Just look at her and smile if she looks back. Hold the eye contact for a just a little bit longer than when you start to feel awkward and attraction just happens. I explain why and give more details in my course, but to keep it short - just remember eye contact is important.
A lesser known cue is to simply look at the girl you are trying to flirt with and make the “come here” motion with your hands. This is literally pulling her in. An alternative is to look at her and make a phone out of your hand like you’re saying “call me”.
Restricted Request is basically asking her to do something, but adding a clause, or a string to the gesture. “I’ll give you my phone number, but you have to promise not to text me right away or call me too much”. Another example is like “Want to go to a concert tomorrow? You have to promise not to embarrass me though, I’ve heard you can be wild” The idea is to ask for something, but add a relevant joke or restriction to the asking that pushes her away.
One simple way of pulling away is to just look away, look at something else. Look over her shoulder like there’s something there you’re interested in, or maybe look at outside or at someone else.
It’s easy to push her away just with your body language. Point your toes away from her and towards the closest exit if you’re in a building. Cross your arms like you’re upset, and even make the anger microexpression if you missed my video on it. Make some space between you two, and even grab something to create a barrier.
push pull texting examples
Remember that if you do end of picking up a girl with this method, she might have a tendency to need attention - because girls who respond well to this type of flirting enjoy attention otherwise they wouldn’t “chase” you when you pushed them away.
Imagine if someone did the same to you. You’re in a business situation and the guy goes, “Well, we think we can pay you this year, but we also need a new copy machine”. It happens all the time, not that rude, and it’s quite effective in negotiations, but how does it make you feel in the relationship?
What about if a girl did this to you? “You’re cute, but you look like my brother”.
There’s also a few differences between emotional vs physical push pull. In one example, you can pushpull a girl without ever physically touching her: “Hey, that’s a beautiful dress, too bad your shoes don’t match”. While there is also physical push pull when you physically pull her in to hug her, but then push her away in the middle of the hug. You could say something like “You’re not the best hugger”.
Scientific Research
I wasn’t able to find very much academic research on the effects of push-pull flirting, however there was one particular study that showed some interesting results.
In a study titled “The Ups and Downs of Dating”, researchers found that fluctuations of security in the early days of a relationshipwas really, really bad.
It stated “Individuals who exhibited greater fluctuation in their repeated satisfaction ratings were more likely to be in relationships that eventually ended” and also “they had relatively lower commitment”.
Basically, you may be able to get her using manipulation, specifically using the withdrawal of affection, but you won’t be able to keep them.
So I’d say long-term push pull doesn’t work - I’d say it’s best to keep this style of flirting as a teasing method. If you want to learn more about attraction girls, and some pickup methods that are actually really helpful and lay a foundation of a great long-term relationship, check out my Psychology of Attraction course in the sidebar! Hope you guys enjoyed this video and learned something!
Related posts:Beck’s Depression Inventory (BDI Test)The Psychology of Long Distance Relationships23+ Psychological Tricks to Get a Girl to Like You (Full Guide + Pics)Operant Conditioning (Examples + Research)49 Signs A Girl Likes You (From Clear To Subtle)
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Reference this article:Practical Psychology. (2019, January).The Push Pull Method of Flirting (Examples + Research).Retrieved from https://practicalpie.com/the-push-pull-method-of-flirting/.Practical Psychology. (2019, January). The Push Pull Method of Flirting (Examples + Research). Retrieved from https://practicalpie.com/the-push-pull-method-of-flirting/.Copy
Reference this article:
Practical Psychology. (2019, January).The Push Pull Method of Flirting (Examples + Research).Retrieved from https://practicalpie.com/the-push-pull-method-of-flirting/.Practical Psychology. (2019, January). The Push Pull Method of Flirting (Examples + Research). Retrieved from https://practicalpie.com/the-push-pull-method-of-flirting/.Copy
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