There is a lot of pressure to be the “perfect” parent: to have children that obey the rules, but are happily doing so. No parent will ever be perfect, but the styles in which parents approach expectations, boundaries, and nurturing can set a child up for more or less success.

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This parenting style quiz and overview will help you assess where you are at in terms of parenthood and how you can make changes to adhere to a more “ideal” parenting style. Remember that all children are different, and the best way to assess your parenting abilities may be to reach out to community members or a family counselor.

What Are the Four Parenting Styles?

Warm vs. Cold Parenting Styles

Demanding vs. Undemanding Parenting Styles

The Four Parenting Styles

Can You Change Your Parenting Style?

Questions

Results

The four parenting styles are authoritative, permissive, authoritarian, and neglectful. These styles are determined based on the warmth of the parent, alongside how much they demand of the child. All parenting styles have produced productive adults; the authoritative style is most likely to set a child up for success.

Warm parents tend to embrace their children, both literally and figuratively. They provide support through every step of the child’s growth and development, offering positivity and encouragement along the way. Children, a warm parent believes, are imperfect and always deserving of love and kindness. This might mean that a child gets away with a slip-up here and there, but that’s okay, because the parent has faith that the child will learn lessons along the way.

In general, studies show that the warmer styles of parenting producehappier, more productive children.A child who forms a positive, trusting relationship with the parent is also more likely to develop asecure attachment stylethat creates healthy, happy relationships later in life.

How much does a parent demand of their child? A demanding parent asks a lot. Chore charts, screen limits, and morning routines are typical of a demanding parent’s style. They communicate these demands to their children and follow through.

An undemanding parent does not ask as much of the child. They might shrug off certain responsibilities because “they’re just kids.” An undemanding parent may make a child’s bed for them, pick up after their toys, or help them with their homework to the point that the parent does it themselves. Or, they may just neglect to set these demands entirely, leaving the child to fend for themselves.

A demanding parent can be healthy or unhealthy, depending on the warmness behind it. Experts say that the most effective parenting style is demanding, yet warm. Undemanding parents may either neglect their child or fail to establish boundaries and expectations that will form an adult who is disciplined and respectful of authority.

Although different parenting styles work for different children, experts generally suggest that parents aim to be authoritative parents: warm and demanding.

Understand your parenting style.

Permissive parents have to make different changes than a neglectful or authoritarian parent. Take some time to reflect on how your parent your child. Are you colder than other parents that you know? Do you tend to bend the rules when you could be more disciplined? To further assess your parenting styles, do not be afraid to reach out to your child’s teacher, family friends, or a professional.

Reinforce authoritative beliefs about children.

If you strongly disagree with any of these, it makes sense you may not be so authoritative! Talk to your co-parent or friends about how you can lean into these beliefs. Remember that you do not have to hold the same beliefs about children that your parents held.

Be mindful of your actions.

Before you discipline a child, take a step back. Breathe deeply and be mindful of your thoughts. Are you setting and enforcing boundaries in a warm, yet demanding way? Could you embrace your child more? Take time if you need to think about the appropriate punishments for your child, and talk to your child about your reasoning only when you are in a calm headspace.

Ask your partner, friends, or a family counselor to hold you accountable.

It takes a village to raise a child. Parents who are dealing with stress, divorce, or demands from their jobs may have a harder time providing clear boundaries and the nurturing care that a child needs. There is no shame in asking a partner, friends, or a professional to keep you accountable as you set expectations for your child.

[Set One Determines Warmness vs. Coldness]

[Results: Cold 10-30 Warm 31-50]

[Set two determines Demanding vs. Undemanding]

[Results: Undemanding 10-30 Demanding 31-50]

This is a great place to be. Parents who can achieve this style are more likely to produce children that excel in school and have high self-esteem. But no parent is perfect, or acts in an authoritative style at all times. Be sure to give yourself grace when you make mistakes, too.

A parent with an authoritarian style is both cold and demanding. They have high expectations for their children, including the expectation to obey authority with little questioning. There is no “worst” parenting style, but researchers believe that authoritarian parenting can do more harm than other styles. Without the opportunity to build a loving, trusting relationship, a child may grow up with poorer social skills or self-esteem. There is also evidence to suggest that authoritarian styles make a child’s behaviorworse.If you are worried about a child’s behavior, you may benefit from approaching them more warmly, and showing your support for their growth and development.

Permissive

Permissive parents are warm and undemanding. They support their children almost blindly, allowing them to push boundaries and “get away with” poor behavior more often. Parents using this style are more likely to treat their child like a “friend” than a child who needs discipline. Although a child may appear to be happy because they are getting their way, permissive parenting does have drawbacks. The child may develop an ego, as no one has “checked it” in their development. They may continue on a path of poor or impulsive behavior, not expecting punishments. Healthy boundaries and rules can be a way for a child to develop into a disciplined, yet happy adult.

Neglectful

A neglectful parent is cold and undemanding. They are not particularly supportive of the child, but they do not discipline them, either. Children are often left to fend for themselves. Without an adult to guide them, a child can risk missing out on key moments of development. Neglected children not only run the risk of behaving poorly later in life, but having serious problems with mental health and substance abuse. If you need help raising your child, please reach out to family, friends, or community leaders for resources.

Reference this article:Practical Psychology. (2022, June).Parenting Style Quiz (Free Test + Instant Results).Retrieved from https://practicalpie.com/parenting-style-quiz/.Practical Psychology. (2022, June). Parenting Style Quiz (Free Test + Instant Results). Retrieved from https://practicalpie.com/parenting-style-quiz/.Copy

Reference this article:

Practical Psychology. (2022, June).Parenting Style Quiz (Free Test + Instant Results).Retrieved from https://practicalpie.com/parenting-style-quiz/.Practical Psychology. (2022, June). Parenting Style Quiz (Free Test + Instant Results). Retrieved from https://practicalpie.com/parenting-style-quiz/.Copy

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