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Psychotherapy is used to treat a variety of mental health issues. In many cases, counseling is more effective than traditional medical treatments, according to theAmerican Psychological Association. It reduces disability and mortality and improves work function for many people. Psychotherapy also teaches clients skills that last beyond the therapy session. Additionally,psychotherapydoes not carry the risk of serious side effects that many medications do. However, to experience the full benefit of treatment, you must have a good therapist who uses an appropriate approach for your specific issues.
#1 Doesn’t Judge You
#2 Focus on You
#3 Tell You Why They Are Using a Certain Approach
Since Sigmund Freud began his experimentation with therapy approximately one hundred years ago, there have been many approaches and methods. Therapy is not a “one size fits all model.” Depending upon your specific issues, some interventions may prove more helpful than others. Some of the standard therapeutic approaches include:
These are just a few of the methods used during therapy. No one method is more effective than the others. Regardless of what approach your therapist uses, they should be able to explain to you why they are using the chosen method. If your therapist cannot tell you what approach they are using or why they are using this method, then consider another counselor.
#4 Review Progress with You
The only way to know if therapy is working is to periodically discuss the progress that you have made. The reason that most people go to therapy is to change something in their life. If therapy isn’t helping, then what is the point of continuing to go? At the beginning of therapy, your therapist should work with you to establish therapeutic goals or milestones that you want to achieve in therapy. These goals should not be things that the therapist thinks that you want but rather—goals that you have for yourself. If your therapist does not ask you to identify goals upon beginning therapy, that is a big red flag. Not only that, but you should review the progress that you have made in therapy periodically. Your therapist should feel comfortable having a clear, honest conversation about your progress—or lack thereof. If you are not making progress, then you should discuss trying different approaches with your counselor. They should not feel offended or be afraid to change directions if you are not making progress.
#5 Keep Your Secrets
Confidentiality is one of the most important aspects of a counseling relationship. You want to be sure that your inner secrets, desires and fears are safe and that your therapist will not share these with the rest of the world. But, it is important to understand that there are times a therapist may have to break confidentiality, such as when you are a danger to yourself or others or in cases that involve child abuse.
So, how do you know when confidentiality cannot be maintained? Surprisingly, the answer is not always clear and can vary from state to state depending upon laws. Your counselor has a duty to explain to you any circumstance in which they might have to break confidentiality. Usually, they review this process this during their first session with you. They may have you sign a confidentiality agreement. Additionally, many therapists use technology, such as email to communicate with clients. The confidentiality surrounding email and other forms of technology is not always clear. If your counselor uses email or other non-private methods of communication, they should clearly explain that this method of communication is not confidential. You should have a clear understanding of what is and is not confidential in your therapy sessions. If your counselor cannot tell you what will be kept private, then it is time to find a new therapist.
#6 Respects Your Cultural Beliefs
#7 Listens to You
All therapists must have good listening skills. A therapist’s job is to listen to what you have to say—so that they can help you sort out problems. Although your counselor might not remember every little detail about your life, they should be able to recall key facts like your name and what brought you to therapy in the first place. If you feel like you are constantly reminding them of important things about your life, then it is time to take your counseling elsewhere. After all, how can a counselor really help you if they are not absorbing what you are telling them?
#8 Pays Attention During Your Sessions
A good therapist makes you the focus of the counseling session. Their job is not to check their cell phone during the session or to look at the clock repeatedly. The only time that they should interrupt the session is if there is an actual emergency. Their attention should be completely on you. Some therapists use a computer or electronic device to take notes during the session. While that is fine, it should be unobtrusive. You should feel that they are listening to you rather than focusing on other tasks. If they seem distracted during sessions, bring it up to them. If it happens again, find a new counselor.
#9 Does Not Try to Be Your Friend
Although you tell your therapist your innermost secrets, your therapist is not your friend. There are many significant differences between a therapist and a friend, including the fact that friends are not always objective. If your therapists invites you to her wedding, asks you out for lunch or to go for coffee, it is time to find a new therapist. For therapy to work, there must be boundaries to the relationship between a counselor and client. Your therapist should be polite and friendly but the relationship should not feel like a friendship. If it does, then it is not good therapy.
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