A narcissist who loses control may react with anger, manipulation, and denial, struggling to regain the power they feel slipping away.

Control is a crucial element of the narcissist’s world. It’s their tool for maintaining their inflated self-image and masking their deep-seated insecurities. When they feel in control, narcissists are in their comfort zone, they can manipulate situations to feed their ego and maintain the illusion of their superiority.

They Have Fear Of Losing ControlTheir Initial Reaction Is Usually ShockTheir Strategies To Regain ControlLong-Term Effects Of Being SecondDealing With A Narcissist21 Ways A Narcissist Will React Being Out Of ControlExamples of Narcissistic Manipulation

They Have Fear Of Losing Control

Their Initial Reaction Is Usually Shock

Their Strategies To Regain Control

Long-Term Effects Of Being Second

Dealing With A Narcissist

21 Ways A Narcissist Will React Being Out Of Control

Examples of Narcissistic Manipulation

The fear of losing control is deeply ingrained in the narcissist’s psyche. They view the world as binary: winners and losers, powerful and weak, adored or despised.

For them, relinquishing control equates to forfeiting their sense of superiority and plunging into the uncomfortable territory of being ‘ordinary’ or ‘insignificant’—something they desperately seek to avoid.

Real-life examples of these reactions abound. Take, for instance, a narcissistic boss who is confronted about his unfair treatment of employees.

He might deny the allegations, shift the blame onto the employees for being overly sensitive, and even threaten job security, all in a bid to regain control.

When narcissists feel their control slipping away, they resort to various coping mechanisms to regain it. One common method is gaslighting, a form of psychological manipulation in which they cause individuals to question their sanity. By sowing seeds of doubt, they can regain dominance and control. A good example - Emily is made to question her reality because her partner questions the experience of events that occurred.

Another coping mechanism is devaluation and discard. When their control is threatened, narcissists often demean the person challenging them, belittling their opinions, and undermining their self-esteem.

Once the person is sufficiently devalued and their self-confidence shattered, the narcissist may discard them (either emotionally or physically) to assert control.

If a narcissist is continuously denied control, they can undergo a process called narcissistic injury, where their self-esteem and self-worth are significantly damaged. This can lead to narcissistic rage, an intense anger directed at the person they perceive as causing their injury.

Over time, this constant struggle for control can lead to self-destruction. The narcissist may isolate themselves from others, fall into depression, or engage in risk-taking behaviors. For example, a narcissist denied a promotion may quit their job in anger, thus losing their source of income and damaging their career.

Interacting with a narcissist who feels out of control can be emotionally draining. It’s crucial to maintain your emotional health and set boundaries. You might need to emotionally distance yourself from the narcissist, permitting yourself to disengage when they become aggressive or manipulative. It’s important to remember that you can’t control their behavior, but you can control your reactions to it.

Setting boundaries with a narcissist can be challenging but necessary. Determine what behaviors you won’t tolerate and follow through with consequences when boundaries are violated. For instance, if a narcissistic friend consistently belittles your achievements, you could choose to limit your interactions or, in extreme cases, end the relationship.

Narcissistic personalities thrive on control and dominance. When this control is slipping away, their reactions can range from subtle manipulation to outright rage. Here are 21 ways a narcissist may act when they aren’t in control:

Consider John, a high-ranking executive at a reputable company. When his proposal was rejected in a board meeting in favor of a co-worker, he lost his temper. Unable to accept that his ideas were not deemed the best, he stormed out of the meeting, shouting about the incompetence of the rest of the team. Later, he berated each team member individually, criticizing their ideas and undermining their confidence.

Richard was a charming boyfriend but very possessive. When his girlfriend, Sarah, confronted him about his overbearing behavior, he turned the tables on her. He accused her of being paranoid and overly sensitive, causing Sarah to question her perceptions. He also fabricated stories about how his past partners appreciated his “protectiveness,” causing further doubt in Sarah’s mind.

Tom was a narcissist who thrived on being the best in his social circle. Tom felt threatened when his friend, Ben, bought a new, expensive car. Instead of being happy for Ben, he belittled Ben’s choice, stating that only shallow people flaunted wealth. He then bragged about his own financial investments, emphasizing their superiority over materialistic purchases.

Related posts:15 Consequences For Ignoring A NarcissistHow to Outsmart a Narcissist (8 Methods!)Vulnerable Narcissist (Definition + Examples + Defense Mechanisms)Covert Narcissist - How to Identify (Definition + Examples)Megalomaniac (Definition + Examples)

Reference this article:Practical Psychology. (2023, March).21 Ways A Narcissist React When They Lose Control.Retrieved from https://practicalpie.com/how-narcissists-react-when-they-arent-in-control/.Practical Psychology. (2023, March). 21 Ways A Narcissist React When They Lose Control. Retrieved from https://practicalpie.com/how-narcissists-react-when-they-arent-in-control/.Copy

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Practical Psychology. (2023, March).21 Ways A Narcissist React When They Lose Control.Retrieved from https://practicalpie.com/how-narcissists-react-when-they-arent-in-control/.Practical Psychology. (2023, March). 21 Ways A Narcissist React When They Lose Control. Retrieved from https://practicalpie.com/how-narcissists-react-when-they-arent-in-control/.Copy

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